Melting Pot

In my Turkish class there are a ton of other nationalities-Polish, Palestinian, Iranian, Russian, German, Filippino, Czech, Moroccan, Syrian, Korean, and me (the lone American). I really enjoy getting to know people from so many other countries. It makes class especially entertaining. With so many different cultural backgrounds, though, there is bound to be some weird stuff that happens-by weird, I mean things that don't happen or aren't acceptable in your own country. Things like the following.....

One gentleman in our class (I will not divulge his name or nationality) actually proposed to a girl in our class. He is 35 (well, that's what he claims, but I'm fairly sure he's really 45-we're not fooled, my friend) and she is about 20. One day he slipped her note that said, "I want to make romance and marriage with you." She of course refused (I can't imagine why) and was very upset by this. After all, they had never spoken in class. Not even a "Merhaba. Nasilsin?" (Hello. How are you?) had passed between them. This gentlemen, who is not a bad guy, could not fathom why on earth she would refuse him. He was truly baffled. He thought the problem must be with his english. So, he sought advice from me and another friend of mine. He wanted us to write for him, in English, "will you marry me?" so that he could give her a new note, hoping this time she'd truly understand. Oh, the message was clear the first time, pal. No other English phrase was going to get a yes out of the girl. I (Mrs. Kate as he calls me-thank goodness for the Mrs! I want no proposals!) had to write down for him why he could not propose. Tempted to say many things (you're way too old, I think you really want a visa to her country, you've never had a conversation with her except for the weird "Will you marry me?" one, etc.), I opted for a polite "You can't propose to someone you don't know." I still don't think he gets it. I'm not even totally faulting this guy because, who knows?? Maybe in his country it's totally acceptable to propose to a complete stranger 25 years your junior (I'm not even being sarcastic here). Again, let me repeat how thankful I am to wear some bling on my left hand and go by Mrs. Kate:)

Sometimes in class our teacher pairs us up and we have to have conversations with our partner (incredibly difficult to just come up with stuff to say and be gramatically correct when you've only been speaking Turkish for 2 weeks). Anyway, I got paired with a partner (again who's name and country will be kept confidential) who I've had "run-ins" with before. This kid is about 20 and seems to be just that to me-a kid. He just brings out the teacher in me-and I'm not talking about in the maternal way. I'm talking about "Stop interrupting people and rolling your eyes or I'm sending you to the principal and sending a note home to mom and dad." He is a bit of a know it all and tries to quickly get out an answer before the person who has been called upon can answer. This happened to me numerous times the first week until I finally just turned to him and put my hand to my mouth and said, "Shhh!" I really wanted to raise my hand and ask my teacher how to say "Shut your piehole" in Turkish, but I resisted. This same kind of stuff happened later when he was trying to finish the Korean girl's sentences. I think I gave him a teacher look then too. So, this week we were paired together. We were supposed to interview each other about what we did in a day (we had written a composition on the topic the night before). Again, since I'm not a native Turkish speaker, I'm slow in being able to say what I want. So, he would just finish my sentences for me and start to write down something I didn't want him to. I was getting very, very frustrated. He was getting huffy and making noises like he was totally bored and didn't want to do this assignment. At one point I think I said out loud that he was lazy and had a bad attitude, but I know he didn't understand it. I was just incredibly annoyed with his terrible attitude and lack of manners. So, then I say in Turkish, "At night we watch tv." I knew I said it correctly and used the correct verb, but he insisted that was wrong (even though that was the verb we'd learned). He REFUSED to write what I said and in a snotty tone said, "I write what I want." I was hot at this point, and though usually I'm just the type to smile and not say anything, I couldn't let it go. Quite honestly, I thought he was pulling a "I'm a man and because of that I'm better than you and don't have to listen to you." Nothing irks me more. So, I went back to the paper where I had written down what he said to me when I was interviewing him and I scratched out one of his verbs (dramatically, I might add) and said, "I write what I want." He later crumpled up what he'd written about me, tore it a little, and left it on the desk. Too bad he needed that paper for our homework assignment that night and he didn't have it.:) I don't remember the last time I've been that mad. I know as I exited the building that day and walked down the street to get my taxi, everything was a blur and my face was hot and probably red.

Well, Turkish class is always an adventure, to say the least. The annoying kid has made some subtle ammends. I'll probably still give him a chocolate chip cookie when I bring some to class tomorrow. Since a woman belongs in the kitchen, he'll probably accept. Ok, sorry, for the women's lib. rant, but it's ridiculous that sexism still exists in 2009. Oh, and by the way, the next day we used a sentence about watching tv. My verb was right:)